Top 5 Actions to Create a Stronger Marriage
Over the course of my career as a divorce lawyer, I have been provided with the unique opportunity to evaluate relationships of people from most ethnic, social, and economic backgrounds. This experience has led me to five inescapable actions that we must take if we are going to create stronger relationships.
1. Get right with God. Too often I meet with a client and their complaining about their other spouse is doing or not doing … When this occurs I generally remind these clients that love is an action and that divorce is the worst financial move they could make. What I’ve learned in my own relationships and through the practice of family law is that if we focus on improving our relationship with God our other relationships improve as well because we are working on our own issues rather than finding fault in others.
2. Apologize. If you sense that you owe someone an apology; you do. Learn to apologize often (especially when you think you have been wronged too) and be sincere. If you find that you are repeatedly apologizing to the same person or for the same actions, talk with someone so you can figure out what is driving the choice/behavior.
3. Honor. Honor is a verb (an action just like love) and it means to regard with great respect. So Honor your spouse and others in general, and you will find that they will honor you because you are acting honorable ….
4. Focus on the reasons you got married. People always come into my telling me what they can’t stand about their spouse. When these people have family with them, I generally ask that person if they saw the qualities in the person complained of before the marriage and the answer is always; YES! The Moral of the story is this focus on the good in all things and be grateful; it is easy to look for the bad things in life but looking for the good will make you grateful.
5. Be a role model. We all have heard kids do not do what you say they do what you do. Thankfully, I finally learned (at age 42) that my role model is Jesus not a famous or successful person or even my parents. However, as a parent I have an obligation to show our kids what it is like to be Christ like. Do I ever achieve His perfection; of course not but while I am trying to meet his standards, I grow closer to Him and in turn learn to LOVE (the action) my wife more. Remember whether you have children or not you have little people looking at you, and you need to show them what they should do.